A man, without his word, is nothing. You've no doubt heard this expression in a variety of ways and permutations (that's the word of the day boys, look it up), but you probably never gave it any thought. Well you should if you give a damn about being anything in this life.
Keeping your word in my world is a given (unless you want to be sleeping with the fishes). We quickly learn not to say we will deliver on something we know we can't, whether it's promising to pay someone back, keeping a secret secret , or saying we'll do a favor we won't follow through on.
But this isn't unique to my world. In the business world and in your personal life, the same rules apply. In the corporate world, you should never be in a situation where you've let someone down because you should never promise anything in the first place. It's a business, not a freaking charity.
Don't mince words
If you are like me, you hate those cafones who wiggle around a question that puts them on the spot. Let's call them wigglers. You know the type of guy I'm talking about: you ask him something and he'll say, "I don't know, maybe, I'll find out, we'll see." The only thing this guy is going to see is my fist. It's either yes or no.
The same principle follows when you make a promise. When you say, "I promise" or "you have my word," it's a done deal. Period. You do as promised. That's it, that's all.
Only a stupid man would give his word or promise something he knows he can't deliver. The dumb wiggler who puts himself in this situation eventually has to lie and BS his way out of his promise to save face, but it's too late. In the eyes of the person he let down, his word means nothing now. It's like respect and trust; it takes a lifetime to get and it takes only one stupid move to lose it.
Story time
There was this clown in my neighborhood, Antoni, who thought he was a hotshot because he had a couple of scores that netted him some good cash. He had no talent though, just luck.
So he comes to see me one day, and says this and that, throws out these huge numbers on how he can make my business more profitable because he has so and so connections. I listen and tell him to get the ball rolling. Beyond that, I don't waste a blink thinking about what he promised. It's up to Johnny Lucky over here to prove he can deliver. So months go by and this finocchio never speaks to me again. His luck had run out and all his connections "fell" into the East River. Not that I'm waiting for his call anyway, but he can't even face me to tell me that he was all talk, and no action. He may have had good intentions, but he got ahead of himself, and in the end he lost my respect. His word is useless to me now. A year later, this babbo has the testicoli to come see me again wanting to do business with me, promising I'd be making a lot of money with him. Right. Needless to say, I made sure he'd think twice before coming to see me ever again.
Antoni made three mistakes...
His mistakes
So what was Antoni's downfall in his relationship with me? Three mistakes. First, he got ahead of himself and started saying things he shouldn't have. Second, he showed me no respect by not apologizing to me, and acting a year later like I had the memory of my nonna Maria. Third, he promised me he would make me money and he didn't deliver. He shouldn't have said anything to me. He should have acted on his own, gotten some kind of solid confirmation of this new "business venture," and then approached me. That way, he wouldn't have disappointed me. This is something most of you do, day in, day out. You promise things you can't follow through on. You throw around "I give you my word" like it was a cheap whore. Learn from Antoni; keep your mouth shut unless you know your promise is solid.
Your word is gold
Here are a few more tips to remember:
Give your word when you mean it
Like I said before, when you promise something, the other person must assume it's a done deal. Your word should be like currency. It's money in the bank for someone who is counting on it. That being said, you shouldn't dole it out over everything and anything, or it will lose its value. Because your word is like currency, you must give it only when the occasion is important enough to call for it. The person you are promising something to must be able to recognize that your promise has value . You don't give money out to every Tony, Dino and Nick do you? Why do the same with your word?
Admit when you can't do it
When you are faced with a situation where you are asked for something (whether it's a favor, a contact, doing some job), and you know you can't deliver, admit it. Tell them you don't believe in false promises. It's simple. Don't wiggle or skirt the issue. If, in the end, you can make good on whatever was asked of you, it will only make you look better in the eyes of the other person.
Fulfill your promise 100%
The first time you are asked for an important favor in which you must give your word, make sure you give it your 100% effort. First impressions count. I learn a lot from a man after I ask him for a favor. If he keeps his promise fully and completely without any hint of an excuse or hesitation, he has gained my respect. He set the tone properly from day one. So make sure you have the story straight on that first favor. You don't want to be calling back whoever you've made a promise to with questions two days later.
Never go back on your word
Even if you've been screwed over more times than a one-legged prostitute, you should never back down from your word. I don't care if you don't trust your own shadow. If you are in a situation where you have promised something, you do it. Period.
If you ask, assume it's done
Don't go busting chops on someone who promised you something either. Unless you have reason to doubt the person, when a person gives you his word, assume it's a done deal. If it isn't, you deal with it later. Hopefully, you have some background on this guy. You should know better than to ask a favor from a guy who is shadier than an oak tree.
A promise is a promise
There is no such thing as different degrees of promise. Either you do or you don't. This counts for the little things too. Either you are going to your friend's baby's baptism or you are not. You are either going to be there at 10pm or you are not. Either you are going to give a guy a promotion or you are not. Capisce ?
Keep your rep intact
Keeping your word can save your reputation and even your life. If you are the type of guy whose word is truly golden, your reputation will reflect that. People will come to respect and trust you. There may be a day where you have to call up that ace. The day you owe someone money, or you screwed up, you might have to call upon your golden word to "promise to fix the problem." If your word has the value of used tissue, you are a dead man. If your word is respected, you might be allowed to fix whatever mess you've gotten yourself into. It's especially in situations like these that you should never break your promise.
Just remember who tends to break the most promises: politicians. What does that tell you? That's enough for today.
